To Fast or Not to Fast

So a bunch of my married friends observed Karva Chauth yesterday night. For those who do not understand what that means can google or simply understand it as a Hindu ritual where the wife fasts for the long life of her husband (without water) and finally breaks her fast after seeing the moon and then her husband through a netted vessel in the night. Bizzare, right? Is there any scientific proof that it helps? No, but there are these beautiful historic tales and situations when wives have done this and brought back their husbands from the clutches of death!

Now, I don’t have a problem with the entire thing and I respect women who fast for their husbands but I do have a problem with everything becoming a social activity (read hundreds of pictures of husband wives on Facebook showing them all dressed and breaking their fasts). Why this need of public display. What does it solve? Is it to be socially accepted as husband and wife by our society? Or is it simply that we have very few festivals to celebrate?

So a friend of mine pinged me asking if I am keeping the fast. I had considered keeping one only if my husband would fast for me I said. Thankfully, she is also a logic driven female and said she had to keep it last year since it was two days after the wedding and all eyes were towards the new bahu and now she is contemplating. Well our new generation is confused whether to blindly follow our mothers or to stand up and say, let me decide what I wanna do, let me have a healthy discussion and weigh options, let me be me.

I would love to see a more equal society where “mere pati mera devta hai” does not stand true any more. I know it would hurt peoples sentiments (read my granny). But I am equally surprised and happy that I can at least speak to them and tell them that I too can make my decisions! Recently I told my granny that I don’t need a mangal surta around my neck, red sindoor on my head, bangles and many more things on me to show that I am married just as my husband. I am equally committed and she just smiled! That’s a good start… 

Nothing is Everything..

Well the title of this article may seem odd to many but this revelation happens to each one of us. I may want to warn you right at the start that this state of nothingness may be both productive and counter productive.  Some people may enjoy this state to the utmost and may never want to leave it which then becomes a question to each and every average man's life.

Okay, to rest some raised eyebrows let me try and bring some context to what I mean when I say nothing is a state. Recently, I quit my high paying job as a banker to pursue my dream. I have a very supporting husband, 2 loving set of parents, friends and family. I had been upset with how my career had been shaping out, I felt I was losing control and that my work was not turning out the way I had pictured it in B School or in my dreams. All seems fair so far right? No! When I mention that I quit to pursue my dream, did I tell you my dream? Did I tell you that I haven’t really figured out what I want to do even after spending 27 years on earth in the most fortunate circumstances possible! Now, I have reached a state of nothingness, I have nothing going on… or so I imagine. Nothing as far as work is considered that used to take the good part of my 24 hours. I often sit down with a paper to jot down things I like to do and come up with an awesome list but when it comes to relate it to work, it seems unlikely that I become a dancer, artist, party organizer or a fashionista that makes similar sort of dough that I minted earlier. I am the happiest when I am left alone to dance or cook!

I haven’t still told you the something part. Well, have you ever imagined that when you embrace the fact that there is suddenly all this time in your hand that you can allocate to new stuff or things you always wanted to do, how would that feel? I feel soo awesome, I feel I am like superwoman again who can decide her own future, who can choose to either travel or start my own firm! I have the power to choose my own new job and also my life. I feel beautiful and am relooking at my body that I have been ignoring since the time I got married. I am giving more time to relationships.

My state of nothing has finally given me the time to introspect and rejuvenate. I will start to again challenge myself to achieve new heights, new goals, new hobbies. Its an exciting phase, I wish that each one of you also gets to be as lucky as I am. Each human being deserves to smile and slow down to reinvent and find their somethings….